March 2, 2001
A day does not pass for Venus Dachauer, Canadian Border Patrol and humanitarian, which isn't filled with the pride and sense of duty for her country. Her heroic patrol of the Canadian-American border has resulted in countless drug busts, seizing of illegal goods, and arrests of dozens of lawbreakers. However, her spirited guarding has never once resulted, unfortunately, in a date.
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Carla DiSanti "loves the camaraderie" while working at the Border.
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"Being a thirty-six year old virgin isn't easy," whispers Dachauer, who hasn't even been past second base since March of 1993. But the single cat-lover still holds on. "I am just waiting for that Prince Charming to drive up to my booth, take one look at me, and propose. Yep, still waiting... still waiting... yep."
PWM met up with randomly selected single male drivers after passing through Venus' booth to get their scoop on the poppy patrolwoman. "Yeah, she looked like a virgin," explained an anonymous motorist.
Commented another, "She asked me out on a date, and when I said no, she made a group of men turn over my car and empty out every last gum wrapper. I didn't have a thing on me, either. I left my smack at home."
Peter Morris, at the time driving a log truck, told us: "Well, I haven't had sex since like '89, right before my arrest. Now that I'm finally out on probation, I have to wait for 3 months before trying the old game again, otherwise my anklet will electrocute me. [chuckle] Those damn eight grade chicks!"
For the mean time, Dachauer waits. She is sitting in her booth now, just in case you are her Prince Charming about to drive through. She's still waiting, hoping, sitting there. Please at least say hello if you meet her.
She concludes: "You know, I'm extremely datable. I can watch movies, or eat most spicy foods, even wear a hat. I laugh sometimes, too."
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