Above, the before and after shots from JD Power & Associates' Canadian Hotel Bed Test.

The firm released its findings to the public after a series of extensive tests by drunken American college students.

Corey Fisher, a participant in the study, comments, "I didn't even realize this was part of a test. They just invited us up, paid for our alcohol, and told us to jump on the beds. I almost shit myself when the bed broke, but then I realized the room wasn't on my credit card."

Michael Fitzpatrick, lead engineer for the company, explains, "We've never tested anything quite like this before, and I feel really strongly about the validity and importance of these tests. Now people can know the truth about broken hotel beds."

Each trial consisted of sixteen shots of vodka and a boilermaker, and several jumps on the hotel bed from various distances and heights. Eight participants jumped, and each time, the bed broke.

Telly Kensfeldt, drunk at the time of this interview, commented, "Me go boom."

Fitzpatrick's crew also tested several other factors which were thought to cause hotel beds to crush under the conditions. "But, still, we found that breathing heavily around the mattress and boxspring, watching curling on the bed, or even asking the bed to break nicely all ended up not affecting the bed whatsoever."

In fact the only data point other than jumping on beds involved sexually-linked practices. "We threw the data out because Canadians don't have sex like humans do," explains Fitzpatrick. "I think they just lay eggs and hatch, or something."