July 20, 2001
by Jenna Tomlinson
Cast members, whores, and drug addicts, of Diff'rent Strokes (L), and Tomlinson (R). |
I arrived home late last night. None of my friends was around, and the pizza place down the street was closed. It was a long day, and all I wanted was something good on TV to watch. Flipping through the channels, I stopped on Nick at Nite when I noticed a marathon of "Diff'rent Strokes." I figured, well, I loved the show when I was 7: the antics of Willis and Arnold, that witty Mrs. Garrett! What better was to spend my night than to have a blast from the past? To my dismay, after watching the first few minutes of that episode (the one where Arnold wants to join a gang), I came to the realization that the show might have been entertaining when Nancy Regan was spouting all that "Just Say No Crap." But today, Diff'rent Strokes really was a horrible show.
I mean, who did they think they were kidding? It wasn't a comedy, it was a travesty; a lesson in... morals and ethics. Episodes touched on everything from alcohol to bed-wetting, always making such a big deal of everything and learning a lesson in thirty minutes (minus strategically placed commercial breaks). Isn't it ironic that this plotline of moral and ethical characters were played by such a bunch of shitheads in real life?
Dana Plato (Kimberly) was a white-trash hooker or something trashy like that; she definitely knocked off a couple video stores. Todd Bridges (Willis) abused every drug you can imagine, and Gary Coleman (Arnold) is still four feet tall and sued his parents because they kept the money he made from the show. The father, what's-his-name? Who cares, he was a terrible actor. There were other characters but they certainly were people who did not matter.
I was watching the episode where Arnold, the four-foot parent sue-er, sneaks a sip of wine and chews gum to hide the scent of alcohol. Whats-his-name still smelled it on his breath and questioned Arnold. Arnold remembered nothing; the show made it seem as if wine causes memory loss. Additionally, the show sends the message to children that gum will not alleviate alcohol breath. It does - the officer let me go that time.
Other episodes made drugs seem like they were the devils toys. If you had a choice between smoking a joint and dying, you should go with dying because the joint would kill you anyway. At least that's the decision I would make after letting the show infiltrate the decision-making portion of my brain.
I guess now that I've grown up, the simple style of comedy on shows like "Diff'rent Strokes" just leave more to be desired (as a side note, what happened to the 'e' in 'Diff'rent?'). I am happy that there are better shows on these days, with more fulfilling humor and intriguing plotlines, like "Ally McBeal" and "Dawson's Creek." Now that's quality.
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