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Peoplewhomatter:
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My name is Kenneth Roberts. I work for an online news
publication called People Who Matter. Thank you for taking the time for this
interview.
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Eze609753785:
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This is bullshit, right?
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Peoplewhomatter:
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No this is a real
website, I am a real person.
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Eze609753785:
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okay where do we start?
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Peoplewhomatter:
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We are in the process of building the site up so there
is very little content there now. That is why we are doing these interviews.
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Eze609753785:
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oh okay
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Peoplewhomatter:
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How old are you? I have to make sure you are of legal
consenting age before continuing.
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Eze609753785:
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19
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Peoplewhomatter:
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I see you are in the Britney fan chat room. Are you a
fan of all Britneys? I didn't realize it was such a popular name.
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Eze609753785:
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no i'm not
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Peoplewhomatter:
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What grade are you in?
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Eze609753785:
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i'm not in school
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Peoplewhomatter:
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Are you collecting welfare?
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Eze609753785:
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i dont go to college
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Eze609753785:
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no i'm not
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Peoplewhomatter:
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What denominations do food stamps come in?
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Eze609753785:
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i dont know
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Peoplewhomatter:
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Are food stamps good for 40's and fried chicken and
grits?
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Eze609753785:
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yeah
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Peoplewhomatter:
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Have you been paying close attention to the race for
President?
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Eze609753785:
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no not really
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Peoplewhomatter:
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It's OK, there's always next year's Presidential race.
What news events have you been following, and what are your views on them?
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Eze609753785:
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none of them
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Peoplewhomatter:
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I don't feel you are really into this interview. Was it
something I said?
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Eze609753785:
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no
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Peoplewhomatter:
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This is for a feature on a big college website. Surely
there must be something you want to talk about?
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Eze609753785:
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keep going
girls
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Peoplewhomatter:
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Have you ever heard of People Who Matter?
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Eze609753785:
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no i havent
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Peoplewhomatter:
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Have you ever visited the People Who Matter website?
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Eze609753785:
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no i havent
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Peoplewhomatter:
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Do you currently have any friends or family employed by
People Who Matter or its affiliates?
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Eze609753785:
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no i havent
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Peoplewhomatter:
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So you have absolutely no ties with People Who Matter?
How did you hear about us?
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Eze609753785:
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you
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Peoplewhomatter:
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Oh wow. Thanks!
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Eze609753785:
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You welcome
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Peoplewhomatter:
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So how many boyfriends have you had?
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Eze609753785:
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None
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Peoplewhomatter:
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So you're a virgin? Is it tough being a virgin at 19?
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Eze609753785:
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i'm male thats y i didnt have any boyfriends
and i'm not a virgin
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Peoplewhomatter:
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So you prefer spanking your spindle? Jiggling your
jimmy? Plucking your porcupine?
Please let me ask the questions here
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Eze609753785:
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hell no
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Peoplewhomatter:
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No, please, it's my job.
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Eze609753785:
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damn what kione college shit is this
kine*
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Peoplewhomatter:
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What was your favorite film from the Palmes D'Ore Film
Festival?
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Eze609753785:
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huh?
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Peoplewhomatter:
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How do you feel about laissez-faire economics in today's
modern e-commercial and technological world?
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Eze609753785:
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i dont know what ur talking about
lets quit this already
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Peoplewhomatter:
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What is 1+1?
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Eze609753785:
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2 what u think ..
what is 2+2?
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Peoplewhomatter:
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Please, I am the interviewer here. I can start off easier if you want and
build up. What is the one thing you think you could do to satisfy any boy you
met?
Do Asians have curly pubic hair?
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Eze609753785:
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yeah
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Peoplewhomatter:
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Do you enjoy long walks on the beach?
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Peoplewhomatter:
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I am sorry time is up, pencils down.
Well thank you for your input. Please look for your
interview on the next update of PeopleWhoMatter.org - America's Collegiate
News Source.
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