I have a test to determine whether something is hoardable. I ask myself, would someone else possibly want the item? Or is it something that could be useful at some other point in time? If the answer is yes to either of those two questions...it's already in my possession. If you don't hoard something as soon as possible then there's a good chance someone else will hoard it first. That's what I've learned, that's what I've practiced.

As a kid, I would hoard just about anything I could. Like when my friend had a birthday party....I would sit there holding the bowl of pretzels or potato chips and completely hoard them. People would ask me if they could have one, .I'd just scream at them, "NO, it's hoarded already". You know they wanted to hoard them, but they were too late. In high school, I hoarded of course. I would go to the library and hoard just about anything there. It was their fucking fault for letting you take something without paying. People asked me if I had ever read anything by Dickens. No, but I hoarded all his best stuff!

As I got older, the hoarding got more out of control. Most of my hoarding culminated once I got to college. One might say my major is engineering but that's because they don't give degrees in hoarding... yet. I would go to the book store and buy out all the books for a specific class. I know it's expensive but the nerds at my school would get so frustrated when they couldn't get the book for their fucking math class. The best would be when I would go to class and the dorks would whine to the teachers that they couldn't find the book. I would scream out how easy it was for my friends and I to get them. Little did the teacher know I had 60 more copies in my dorm room.

That's the other important thing about hoarding. Do it in groups. Find a group of people that have similar hoarding interests and hoard together. Nothing brings people closer together than all hoarding the same things. I remember my fraternity days. Eight or ten of us would just hoard every weekend. It was actually on our schedule. Friday night...HOARD. The house would get beer for some ridiculous event or something like that and little by little it would disappear. The idiots would just assume they had drank all of it, and be so proud they overlooked it's disappearance. I would just laugh and be thankful I hoarded it because I might need it later. If I didn't ever get to using it, I would just give it back....RIGHT, like I would return something after I hoarded it...I would just throw it off the roof or in the case of beer, shake it up and shoot it with a BB gun.

Some people do not understand the difference between hoarding and stealing. I think it's really simple. Stealing is taking from someone that you don't know without their permission. Hoarding is the act of keeping stuff from people that you really just don't like; it's the act of just amassing stuff from the people who are too gutless to say anything. That's why hoarding is important and the primary reason I'll hoard anything...to ruin the experience for other people.